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Title: Something In The Papers
Author: Ambrose Bierce [ More Titles by Bierce]
"What's in the paper?" Oh, it's dev'lish dull: There's nothing happening at all--a lull After the war-storm. Mr. Someone's wife Killed by her lover with, I think, a knife. A fire on Blank Street and some babies--one, Two, three or four, I don't remember, done To quite a delicate and lovely brown. A husband shot by woman of the town-- The same old story. Shipwreck somewhere south. The crew, all saved--or lost. Uncommon drouth Makes hundreds homeless up the River Mud-- Though, come to think, I guess it was a flood. 'T is feared some bank will burst--or else it won't They always burst, I fancy--or they don't; Who cares a cent?--the banker pays his coin And takes his chances: bullet in the groin-- But that's another item--suicide-- Fool lost his money (serve him right) and died. Heigh-ho! there's noth--Jerusalem! what's this: Tom Jones has failed! My God, what an abyss Of ruin!--owes me seven hundred clear! Was ever such a damned disastrous year!
[The end] Ambrose Bierce's poem: Something In The Papers ________________________________________________
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