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Eben Holden: A Tale of the North Country, a novel by Irving Bacheller |
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BOOK TWO - Chapter 21 |
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_ BOOK TWO - Chapter 21 We have our secrets, but, guard them as we may, it is not long before others have them also. We do much talking without words. I once knew a man who did his drinking secretly and his reeling in public, and thought he was fooling everybody. That shows how much easier it is for one to fool himself than to fool another. What is in a man's heart is on his face, and is shortly written all over him. Therein is a mighty lesson. Of all people I ever knew Elizabeth Brower had the surest eye for looking into one's soul, and I, myself, have some gift of penetration. I knew shortly that Mrs Brower - wise and prudent woman that she was - had suspected my love for Hope and her love for me, and had told her what she ought to say if I spoke of it. The maturity of judgement in Hope's answer must have been the result of much thought and counsel, it seemed to me. 'If you do not speak again I shall know you do not love me any longer,' she had said. They were brave words that stood for something very deep in the character of those people - a self-repression that was sublime, often, in their women. As I said them to myself, those lonely summer days in Faraway, I saw in their sweet significance no hint of the bitterness they were to bring. But God knows I have had my share of pleasure and no more bitterness than I deserved. It was a lonely summer for me. I had letters from Hope - ten of them - which I still keep and read, often with something of the old pleasure - girlish letters that told of her work and friends, and gave me some sweet counsel and much assurance between the lines. I travelled in new roads that vacation time. Politics and religion, as well as love, began to interest me. Slavery was looming into the proportion of a great issue, and the stories of cruelty and outrage on the plantations of the South stirred my young blood and made it ready for the letting of battle, in God's time. The speeches in the Senate were read aloud in our sitting-room after supper - the day the Tribune came - and all lent a tongue to their discussion. Jed Feary was with us one evening, I remember, when our talk turned into long ways, the end of which I have never found to this day. Elizabeth had been reading of a slave, who, according to the paper, had been whipped to death. 'If God knows 'at such things are bein' done, why don't he stop 'em?' David asked. 'Can't very well,' said Jed Feary. 'Can, if he's omnipotent,' said David. 'That's a bad word - a dangerous one,' said the old poet, dropping his dialect as he spoke. 'It makes God responsible for evil as well as good. The word carries us beyond our depth. It's too big for our boots. I'd ruther think He can do what's doable an' know what's knowable. In the beginning he gave laws to the world an' these laws are unchangeable, or they are not wise an' perfect. If God were to change them He would thereby acknowledge their imperfection. By this law men and races suffer as they struggle upward. But if the law is unchangeable, can it be changed for a better cause even than the relief of a whipped slave? In good time. the law shall punish and relieve. The groans of them that suffer shall hasten it, but there shall be no change in the law. There can be no change in the law.' 'Leetle hard t' tell jest how powerful God is,' said Uncle Eb. 'Good deal like tryin' t' weigh Lake Champlain with a quart pail and a pair o' steelyards.' 'If God's laws are unchangeable, what is the use of praying?' I asked. 'He can give us the strength to bear, the will to obey him an' light to guide us,' said the poet. 'I've written out a few lines t' read t' Bill here 'fore he goes off t' college. They have sumthin' t' say on this subject. The poem hints at things he'd ought 'o learn purty soon - if he don't know 'em now.' The old poet felt in his pockets as he spoke, and withdrew a folded sheet of straw-coloured wrapping paper and opened it. I was 'Bill' -plain 'Bill' - to everybody in that country, where, as you increased your love of a man, you diminished his name. I had been called Willie, William and Billy, and finally, when I threw the strong man of the township in a wrestling match they gave me this fail token of confidence. I bent over the shoulder of Jed Feary for a view of the manuscript, closely written with a lead pencil, and marked with many erasures. 'Le's hear it,' said David Brower. Then I moved the lamp to his elbow and he began reading: 'A talk with William Brower on the occasion of his going away to college and writ out in rhyme for him by his friend Jedediah Feary to be a token of respect. The man that loses faith in God, ye'll find out every time, But don't expect too much o' God, it wouldn't be quite fair If all things come so easy, Bill, they'd hev but little worth, There's a money O' the soul, my boy, ye'll find in after years, Fer the record o' yer doin' - I believe the soul is planned When yer feet are on the summit, an' the wide horizon clears, God knows as much as can be known, but I don't think it's true If ye pray with faith believin', why, ye'll certnly receive, Ye can read old Nature's history thet's writ in rocks an' stones, There's a part o' Cod's creation very handy t' yer view, There's good old Aunt Samanthy Jane thet all her journey long She's hed her share o' troubles; I remember well the day I give this crude example of rustic philosophy, not because it has my endorsement - God knows I have ever felt it far beyond me - but because it is useful to those who may care to know the man who wrote it. I give it the poor fame of these pages with keen regret that my friend is now long passed the praise or blame of this world. _ |
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