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'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry, a fiction by Irving Bacheller |
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Chapter 1. In Which Harry Swiftly Passes From One Stage Of His Career To Another |
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_ CHAPTER I. IN WHICH HARRY SWIFTLY PASSES FROM ONE STAGE OF HIS CAREER TO ANOTHER "Harry and I were waiting for his motor-car," said the Honorable Socrates Potter. "He couldn't stand and wait--that would be losing time--so we kept busy. Went into the stores and bought things--violets, candy, golf-balls, tennis-shoes, new gloves, and neckties. Harry didn't need 'em, but he couldn't waste any time and-- "'There's the car!' "In each store Harry had used the magic words, 'Charge it,' and passed on. "We were going over to Chesterville to settle with the contractor who had built his father's house. We had an hour and four minutes in which to do it all, and then--the 6.03 express for New York. Harry had to get it to be in time for a bridge party. "We climbed in. Harry grabbed the wheel. The gas-lever purred, the gears clicked, the car jumped into motion and rushed, screeching, up the hill ahead of us, shot between a trolley-car and a wagon, swung around a noisy runabout, scared a team into the siding, and sped away. "The town behind us! Country-houses on either side! A bulldog in the near perspective! He set himself, made a rush at us, as if trying to grab a wheel off the car, and the wheel got him. We flushed a lot of chickens. The air seemed to be full of them. Harry waved an apology to the farmer, as if to say: "'Never mind, sir, I'm in a hurry now. Take my number and charge it.' "'He struck a fowl, and, turning, I saw a whirl of feathers in the air behind us and the farmer's fist waving above the dust. "Harry would have paid for the dog and the fowl in money but not in time--not even in a second of time! Harry had an engagement for a bridge party and must catch the 6.03 express. "A man on a bicycle followed by a big greyhound was just ahead. We screeched. The man went into the ditch and took a header. The greyhound didn't have time to turn out then. He bent to the oars until he had gained lead enough to save himself with a sidelong jump into the buttercups. "'Charge it!' "The needle on the speedometer wavered from fifty to fifty-five, then struck at sixty, held a second there, and passed it. Gnats and flies hit my face and stung like flying shot. The top of the road went up in a swirl of dust behind us. I hung on, with my life in my trembling hands. We zipped past teams and motor-cars. "We filled every eye with dust and every ear with screeches and every heart with a swift pang of terror. "'Charge it!' "A rider with a frightened horse raced on ahead of us to the next corner. We sped across the track into Chesterville and-- "'Hold up! There's the office ahead.' "The levers move, down goes the brake, and we're there. "'Eleven miles in fourteen minutes!' Harry exclaims, as I spring out and hurry to the door. It was really sixteen minutes, but I always allow Harry a slight discount. "'Not in!' I shout, in a second. "'Not in--heart of Allah!--where is he?' "'At the Wilton job on the point.' "'We'll go get him.' "'You go; I'll wait here.' "Away he rushes--I thank God for the brief respite. This high power encourages great familiarity with the higher powers. But the Creator's name is used here in no light or profane spirit, let me say. In each case it is only a brief prayer or, rather, the beginning of a prayer which one has not time to finish. It is cut short by a new adventure. "I say to myself that I shall not ride back with Harry. No, life is still dear to me. I will take the trolley. And yet--what thrilling, Jove-like, superhuman deviltry it was! I light a cigar and sit down. Harry and Wilton arrive. Fifteen minutes gone! "I get down to business. "Harry says: 'Please cut it short.' "I could have saved five hundred dollars if I had had time to present our side of the case with proper deliberation. But Harry keeps shouting: "'Do cut it short. I must get there--don't you know?' "Wilton must have his pay, too--he needs every cent of it to-morrow. "'You go on. I'll stay here and settle this matter and go home by the trolley.' "'Let's stick together,' my young friend entreats. 'Please hurry it through and come on with me. I need you.' "Harry must have company. His time is wasted unless he has a spectator--an audience--a witness--a historian. Without that, all his hair-breadth escapes would be thrown away. His stories would hang by a thread. "'We've only twenty-one minutes,' he calls. "I say to myself: 'Damn the man whose money is like water and whose time is more precious than the last hour of Mahomet.' Well, of course, there was plenty of money, but the supply of time was limited. To waste a second was to lose an opportunity for self-indulgence. "I draw a check and take a hurried receipt and jump in. "Away we go. 'Look out!' "The brakes grind, and we rise in the air a little as a small boy crosses our bows. We just missed him--thank God! "'Don't be reckless, old man--go a bit slower.' "'It's all right. We've a clear road now.' "What a wind in our faces! There's the track ahead. "'Look out! The train! God Almighty!' "I spoke too late. We were almost up to the rails when I saw it. We couldn't stop. Cleared the track in time. Felt the wind of the engine in my back hair, and then my scalp moved. Just ahead was a light buggy in the middle of the road and a bull, frightened by the cars, galloping beside it. "In the excitement Harry hadn't time to blow, and the roar of the train had covered our noise. The bull turned into the ditch and speeded up. We swerved between bull and buggy and grazed the side of the latter. "I jumped and landed on the bull, and that saved me. It's the first time that I ever knocked a bull down. He got to his feet swiftly beside me, bellowed, and took the fence. He was a fat, well-fed bull with a big, round, soft side on him. I never knew that a bull was so mellow. My feet sank deep, and he gave way, and I hit him again with another part of my person. I didn't mean it, and felt for him, although it is likely that his feelings needed no further help from me. Of course I bounded off him at last and the earth hit me a hard upper-cut, but the bull had been a highly successful shock absorber. In a second or so I was able to get up and look around. The buggy had gone over, and the horse was on his hind legs trying to climb out of the dust-cloud. "Harry stopped his car and began to back up. "'That'll do for me,' I said. 'I don't sit in your padded cell any longer.' "I had lived a whole three-volume novel in the last forty minutes. The Panama Canal had been finished and England had become a republic. It was too much. "We found two men--one at the head of the frightened horse, the other lying beside the wrecked buggy with a broken leg. "And Harry had an engagement to play bridge! "I took the horse's head. The well man pulled a stake off the fence and chased Harry around the motor-car. He didn't intend to 'charge it.' Wanted cash down. I got hold of his arm and succeeded in calming him. "Harry apologized and assured them that he was willing to pay the damage. We picked up the injured man and took him to his home. On the way Harry explained that they should keep track of all expenses and: "'Charge it.' "In a few minutes Harry roared off in the direction of Pointview to get a doctor and the 6.03 express. "'It might be a little late,' he said, as he left us. "The next day Harry was arrested as a public enemy for criminal carelessness. He had injured three men on the highways of Connecticut, to say nothing of dogs and poultry. Almost everybody had something charged against Harry. He was highly unpopular, but a good fellow at heart. "I got the judge to release him on his promise to abandon motoring for three years. "Thus he rushed out of the motor-car stage of his career into that of the drag and tandem. "He had had more narrow escapes and suffered greater perils than Rob Roy. "Yes, bulls are a good thing--a comparatively soft thing. I recommend them to every motorist who may have to look for a place to land. Don't ever throw yourself on the real estate of New England. It can hit harder than you can." _ |
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