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The Parisians, a novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton |
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Book 9 - Chapter 10 |
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_ BOOK IX CHAPTER X Madame Savarin wrote a very kind and very apologetic letter to Isaura, but no answer was returned to it. Madame Savarin did not venture to communicate to her husband the substance of a conversation which had ended so painfully. He had, in theory, a delicacy of tact, which, if he did not always exhibit it in practice, made him a very severe critic of its deficiency in others. Therefore, unconscious of the offence given, he made a point of calling at Isaura's apartments, and leaving word with her servant that "he was sure she would be pleased to hear M. Rameau was somewhat better, though still in danger." It was not till the third day after her interview with Madame Savarin that Isaura left her own room,--she did so to receive Mrs. Morley. The fair American was shocked to see the change in Isaura's countenance. She was very pale, and with that indescribable appearance of exhaustion which betrays continued want of sleep; her soft eyes were dim, the play of her lips was gone, her light step weary and languid. "My poor darling!" cried Mrs. Morley, embracing her, "you have indeed been ill! What is the matter?--who attends you?" "I need no physician, it was but a passing cold--the air of Paris is very trying. Never mind me, dear--what is the last news?" Therewith Mrs. Morley ran glibly through the principal topics of the hour: the breach threatened between M. Ollivier and his former liberal partisans; the tone unexpectedly taken by M. de Girardin; the speculations as to the result of the trial of the alleged conspirators against the Emperor's life, which was fixed to take place towards the end of that month of June,--all matters of no slight importance to the interests of an empire. Sunk deep into the recesses of her fauteuil, Isaura seemed to listen quietly, till, when a pause came, she said in cold clear tones: "And Mr. Graham Vane--he has refused your invitation?" "I am sorry to say he has--he is so engaged in London." "I knew he had refused," said Isaura, with a low bitter laugh. "How? who told you?" "My own good sense told me. One may have good sense, though one is a poor scribbler." "Don't talk in that way; it is beneath you to angle for compliments." "Compliments, ah! And so Mr. Vane has refused to come to Paris; never mind, he will come next year. I shall not be in Paris then. Did Colonel Morley see Mr. Vane?" "Oh, yes; two or three times." "He is well?" "Quite well, I believe--at least Frank did not say to the contrary; but, from what I hear, he is not the person I took him for. Many people told Frank that he is much changed since he came into his fortune--is grown very stingy, quite miserly indeed; declines even a seat in Parliament because of the expense. It is astonishing how money does spoil a man." "He had come into his fortune when he was here. Money had not spoiled him then." Isaura paused, pressing her hands tightly together; then she suddenly rose to her feet, the colour on her cheek mantling and receding rapidly, and fixing on her startled visitor eyes no longer dim, but with something half fierce, half imploring in the passion of their gaze, said: "Your husband spoke of me to Mr. Vane: I know he did. What did Mr. Vane answer? Do not evade my question. The truth! the truth! I only ask the truth!" "Give me your hand; sit here beside me, dearest child." "Child!--no, I am a woman!--weak as a woman, but strong as a woman too!--The truth!" Mrs. Morley had come prepared to carry out the resolution she had formed and "break" to Isaura "the truth," that which the girl now demanded. But then she had meant to break the truth in her own gentle, gradual way. Thus suddenly called upon, her courage failed her. She burst into tears. Isaura gazed at her dry-eyed. "Your tears answer me. Mr. Vane has heard that I have been insulted. A man like him does not stoop to love for a woman who has known an insult. I do not blame him; I honour him the more--he is right." "No-no-no!--you insulted! Who dared to insult you? (Mrs. Morley had never heard the story about the Russian Prince.) Mr. Vane spoke to Frank, and writes of you to me as of one whom it is impossible not to admire, to respect; but--I cannot say it--you will have the truth,--there, read and judge for yourself." And Mrs. Morley drew forth and thrust into Isaura's hands the letter she had concealed from her husband. The letter was not very long; it began with expressions of warm gratitude to Mrs. Morley, not for her invitation only, but for the interest she had conceived in his happiness. It went on thus "I join with my whole heart in all that you say, with such eloquent justice, of the mental and personal gifts so bounteously lavished by nature on the young lady whom you name. "No one can feel more sensible than I of the charm of so exquisite a loveliness; no one can more sincerely join in the belief that the praise which greets the commencement of her career is but the whisper of the praise that will cheer its progress with louder and louder plaudits. "He only would be worthy of her hand, who, if not equal to herself in genius, would feel raised into partnership with it by sympathy with its objects and joy in its triumphs. For myself, the same pain with which I should have learned she had adopted the profession which she originally contemplated, saddened and stung me when, choosing a career that confers a renown yet more lasting than the stage, she no less left behind her the peaceful immunities of private life. Were I even free to consult only my own heart in the choice of the one sole partner of my destinies (which I cannot at present honestly say that I am, though I had expected to be so ere this, when I last saw you at Paris); could I even hope--which I have no right to do--that I could chain to myself any private portion of thoughts which now flow into the large channels by which poets enrich the blood of the world,--still (I say it in self-reproach, it may be the fault of my English rearing, it may rather be the fault of an egotism peculiar to myself)--still I doubt if I could render happy any woman whose world could not be narrowed to the Home that she adorned and blessed. "And yet not even the jealous tyranny of man's love could dare to say to natures like hers of whom we speak, 'Limit to the household glory of one the light which genius has placed in its firmament for the use and enjoyment of all.'" "I thank you so much," said Isaura, calmly; "suspense makes a woman so weak--certainty so strong." Mechanically she smoothed and refolded the letter--mechanically, with slow, lingering hands--then she extended it to her friend, smiling. "Nay, will you not keep it yourself?" said Mrs. Morley. "The more you examine the narrow-minded prejudices, the English arrogant man's jealous dread of superiority--nay, of equality--in the woman he 'can only value as he does his house or his horse, because she is his exclusive property, the more you will be rejoiced to find yourself free for a more worthy choice. Keep the letter; read it till you feel for the writer forgiveness and disdain." Isaura took back the letter, and leaned her cheek on her hand, looking dreamily into space. It was some moments before she replied, and her words then had no reference to Mrs. Morley's consolatory exhortation. "He was so pleased when he learned that I renounced the career on which I had set my ambition. I thought he would have been so pleased when I sought in another career to raise myself nearer to his level--I see now how sadly I was mistaken. All that perplexed me before in him is explained. I did not guess how foolishly I had deceived myself till three days ago,--then I did guess it; and it was that guess which tortured me so terribly that I could not keep my heart to myself when I saw you to-day; in spite of all womanly pride it would force its way--to the truth. "Hush! I must tell you what was said to me by another friend of mine--a good friend, a wise and kind one. Yet I was so angry when she said it that I thought I could never see her more." "My sweet darling! who was this friend, and what did she say to you?" "The friend was Madame Savarin." "No woman loves you more except myself--and she said?" "That she would have suffered no daughter of hers to commit her name to the talk of the world as I have done--be exposed to the risk of insult as I have been--until she had the shelter and protection denied to me. And I have thus overleaped the bound that a prudent mother would prescribe to her child, have become one whose hand men do not seek, unless they themselves take the same roads to notoriety. Do you not think she was right?" "Not as you so morbidly put it, silly girl,--certainly not right. But I do wish that you had the shelter and protection which Madame Savarin meant to express; I do wish that you were happily married to one very different from Mr. Vane--one who would be more proud of your genius than of your beauty--one who would say, 'My name, safer far in its enduring nobility than those that depend on titles and lands--which are held on the tenure of the popular breath--must be honoured by posterity, for She has deigned to make it hers. No democratic revolution can disennoble me." "Ay, ay, you believe that men will be found to think with complacency that they owe to a wife a name they could not achieve for themselves. Possibly there are such men. Where?--among those that are already united by sympathies in the same callings, the same labours, the same hopes and fears with the women who have left behind them the privacies of home. Madame de Grantmesnil was wrong. Artists should wed with artists. True--true!" Here she passed her hand over her forehead--it was a pretty way of hers when seeking to concentrate thought--and was silent a moment or so. "Did you ever feel," she then asked dreamily, "that there are moments in life when a dark curtain seems to fall over one's past that a day before was so clear, so blended with the present? One cannot any longer look behind; the gaze is attracted onward, and a track of fire flashes upon the future,--the future which yesterday was invisible. There is a line by some English poet--Mr. Vane once quoted it, not to me, but to M. Savarin, and in illustration of his argument, that the most complicated recesses of thought are best reached by the simplest forms of expression. I said to myself, 'I will study that truth if ever I take to literature as I have taken to song;' and--yes--it was that evening that the ambition fatal to woman fixed on me its relentless fangs--at Enghien--we were on the lake--the sun was setting." "But you do not tell me the line that so impressed you," said Mrs. Morley, with a woman's kindly tact. "The line--which line? Oh, I remember; the line was this: "'I see as from a tower the end of all." "And now--kiss me, dearest--never a word again to me about this conversation: never a word about Mr. Vane--the dark curtain has fallen on the past." _ |
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